After All this Time Always
by its a story of love
Summary: Dragon Queen with Missing Archer and Outlaw Queen. Set after S6 finale. Regina sees everyone get their happy beginnings and she can't help but be a little jealous. With the help of an old friend she realises that she can get a happy beginning of her own.


**_Unbeta'd and I don't own anything but the mistakes._**

 ** _This is my longest fic yet (which is weird since my motivation has been gone recently) Enjoy : )_**

/

The wedding had provided a welcome relief to the residents of Storybrooke. It had been a moment which had reminded them of what was most important. Love, Home and Family. Regina had had some reservations on the pirate, that was no secret and while she thought he was sometimes overbearing and Emma a lovesick puppy. However she saw Emma's face fall when the black fairy appeared, destroying her wedding dress, she knew that Emma was truly happy with Killian and that was all that mattered. Looking towards her sister a silent agreement was reached, they would fix this. This wedding would go ahead. It would be a celebration. To cancel or delay would to let the bitch win. If the Black Fairy had done her research she would know that trying to stop, or ruin a wedding never worked.

The ceremony was beautiful, Archie delivering a heartfelt and witty service. The vows were heartfelt and Regina almost had a tear in her eye. When Emma started to sing she almost laughed, how perfectly charming, despite the utter ridiculous of it all the words were perfect and she couldn't help but join in, a smile adoring her face (oh if the Queen could see her now).

She joined hands with Zelena and Henry and just enjoyed the moment.

The reception had been fun, filled with laughter, food and dancing and alcohol. Perhaps a bit too much alcohol. She dismissed rumours of her and Zelena 'humping' in the corner, they were sisters. Emma and Henry high fived each other, David sighed passing them the money they owed. Regina and Zelena both looked confused as Snow pulled out her phone pressing play on a video. Regina blushed furiously, but laughter won out while Zelena cackled- requesting Snow to send it her. She would never live this down now. People had overcome worse things she supposed and she knew it was funny; she just couldn't help but be embarrassed.

It was during the laughter and endless dancing that the curse struck. It didn't matter though, they would find a way.

/

The Queen looked happy, and Regina knew that it was in part to Robin. Though part of her was jealous of their happy ending, or rather beginning, she was more than delighted that after all the heartache, the trials and tribulations, the Queen had been given another chance. One that she was clearly relishing in.

It seemed like the end for a moment. That after everything, it would all be gone in a cloud of smoke. She didn't want the Queen to leave. She couldn't be responsible for her death, but she also knew that this was something she needed to do. This was her way of saying Thank You. She grabbed Snow's hand. Squeezing it tightly, hoping the action would say all the words she couldn't. She smiled at Zelena, despite everything and the hell that she had put her through she was her sister and had become one of her best friends. They had so much of their story to write. She hoped Emma lived a good life wherever she was, that she had her happy ending- at least that way someone would. Her last thought was to her son. Henry. Her little prince. The boy who's smile had saved her more than she could count. His unwavering optimism and belief in her provided her with the strength in her times of weakness. Her love for him reminding her that her heart would continue beating. He was, and would always be a hero. She wished she could have done more, hated that she would leave him alone in the world. She knew that he would achieve all of his dreams. She closed her eyes and saw his face. She had missed him so much. She rested her head on his shoulder, seeking the comfort she so desperately needed. He offered it her, rubbing small circles on her back.

"Regina" his voice like honey.

"Robin" Regina whispered, refusing to believe it, knowing deep down it wasn't real.

"It's so nice to see you again milady but you know you aren't supposed to be here"

"I don't want to go. I don't want to say goodbye"

"This is not goodbye, it will never be goodbye. I am with you, a handprint on your heart. This is just where we part for a while"

"Until we meet again" Regina said, her voice breaking

"Some sunny day" Robin sang his voice deep with emotion.

/

She opened her eyes and found herself back in Storybrooke. The curse was broken. Henry and Emma had done.

She looked around for him, and was soon hugging him tight, pressing a kiss on his forehead.

Others were doing the same, realising once again life was too short.

Emma walked over, hugging her. They both broke the hug laughing at the absurdity of it all. 4 years ago they had been determined to destroy each other because of the damned curses and here they were overwhelmed with relief with the fact that it had been broken.

/

Sunrise, where the darkness of the night surrenders to the pureness of the day. The bright yellow, pink blushes and the first whispers of cloud offered innocence to the world that is so often ignored. It's for that reason that Regina considered it to be her favourite time of the day. The world was quiet. The chaos of life did not matter. The day was new, full of endless possibilities, full of hope. It was the one time that had always been hers, to believe, to treasure.

She had found her way to the forest, her heart led her there. It had more often than not in the past year since Robin's passing. She still missed him terribly. She saw him every night in her dreams; sometimes they were so vivid that she believed them to be real. Only to wake up to an empty bed. She saw him in Robyn's sparkling bright eyes and goofy smile. On some days she would torture herself and remember the soft caress of his lips on hers, the way their bodies had fit perfectly together. The way he had worshipped her, treasured every inch of her body. Slow and teasing, a glint in his eye he would bring her to her climax before savouring her taste as she came undone.

She had been getting better, or rather learning to live without. No that was still the wrong expression. She was learning to live. Live with the knowledge that there are so many things in this world that we cannot control, we can't undo, we can't fix. Live knowing that Robin's death wasn't her fault. Living with the fact that she deserved happiness, and that our past does not define our future, Robin had taught her that.

Today her anxiety was particularly bad. Her thoughts racing. Her breathing increasingly erratic and laboured. She hadn't slept, tossing and turning. Old insecurities returning to the surface, she wasn't worth it, she was nothing, she would always be alone.

It was then she heard the snap of a tree branch, great she didn't want to be disturbed, not now.

"Don't cry little one, it will be alright someday"

Regina whipped her head around: Mal. Where did Mal go last year? why was she back?, how did she know she was here?, how did she know why?

"I can hear you thinking Regina and I will answer all of your questions in time, but catching up on the past year is not what you need right now"

Whether it was out of exhaustion, frustration or just her default to being vulnerable Regina snapped. "What do I need then?"

Mal gave her a pointed look. Regina frowned, and offered a silent apology. Mal never took any shit, that's why they had worked so well.

/

Regina had fond memories of their relationship. Mal had offered her a comfort she so desperately craved after Daniel's death. Awoke feelings she had laid to rest. She had been naïve, innocent and Mal was a beautiful temptress. It had started as a lust filled fling. The two women unable to control their desires, losing themselves in passionate kisses and long nights. They would wake up every morning with a smile on their faces but nothing was ever said. Not regarding the nature of their relationship. To speak would risk the spell being broken. It would risk it all being a lie. For two women who had finally found themselves. Had let themselves feel. That was enough. It had to be.

/

"You need a friend" Mal replied.

Regina noted the hurt in her voice. She understood the pain. Friendships are invaluable. They provide you with a love unparalleled to any other. Friends will be the people that are there no matter what. They will cry with you, laugh with you, and reassure you. Friends are precious and you should never let them go. Friends are the people that will be there for you, and make you smile, even if they want more.

"I miss him Mal. I miss him so much. I miss the way he made me smile. How when I was feeling like shit he would give me a hug and reassure me. I miss the way he fumbled around trying to understand the modern world. I miss the way he used to talk to Henry, them joking around. I miss waking up to him. It's ridiculous but I'm jealous. I'm jealous of the charming's in the farm house with their white picket fence and the dog. I'm jealous of Emma and Killian, starting their married life together. I look at them planning their honey moon and I envy them because I want that. I wanted that with Robin. I am jealous of the Queen, of myself because she is in the Enchanted Forest with him, and they get their happy ever after. It was supposed to be ours. I am jealous of Zelena because yes she lost Hades, and part of her loved him. But she has Robyn; she can focus her attention on making a life for her. I see both of them a lot, she asked me to be Robyn's mama the other day, said that it was right and what Robin would want. I almost said no. No to being the mother to my niece because it hurt too much. It just seems like everyone is getting a happy beginning and nothing has really changed for me. I don't get a happy beginning" By the end of her speech she was crying, that ugly crying where you develop hiccups and your eyes are itchy. Oh great.

Mal held her, knowing that Regina needed a few minutes to steady her breathing. "Oh Regina none of what you said was ridiculous. It's a perfectly normal reaction. You loved; love Robin and that is never going to go away nor should it, being envious of those that have a future that was robbed from you isn't jealousy. It's called being human. I think that you're wrong though, that a lot has changed for you. Once Upon A Time you would cast the darkest curse in existence out of grief; you would make people's lives hell. Now now you are sat on a log in the middle of a forest and letting yourself feel. Letting yourself grieve. You recognise that there is so much in this world to be thankful for. You know that this is a bad day, where everything is a bit too much, that tomorrow will be a bit better. The fact that happy beginnings exist for anyone shows how much has changed. Have faith little one, sometimes things work out when they least expect it. "

"Maybe it's all about timing" Regina whispered, her heart almost breaking. Did Mal know Robin had said something similar, that night in her office? The night when she decided to fully open her heart.

The glint in Mal's eyes was an answer, and Regina wondered how. "Exactly little one"

"Now dry your eyes, hold your head up high and have a good day. "

"Thank you, Mal" Regina replied and leaned in brushing her lips over Mals. She knew it was harsh and unfair, neither of them knew what, if anything would happen, but in that moment it was something Regina needed. She needed to know she could still feel.

/

If Henry questioned why his moms were walking him to school despite the fact he was 14 he didn't say anything. Instead he talked animatedly about Wonder Woman; he had recently re read the comic, and how much he adored Diana Prince. Regina and Emma shared a smile, their son was growing up way too fast but it filled them with joy to know that they could still have moments like this.

Regina didn't really want to go to work. It was one of those days where being in the office was difficult, the memories more raw. Staying at home would be worse. Taking a deep breath she walked through the entrance of town hall.

She paused when she noticed Leroy, Sneezy and Sleepy huddled around her door and was about to make her presence known when they turned, straightening their backs before moving to the side. Looking up at the door Regina beams, her heart filling with warmness and love. Mayor, a name, title that she had created for herself in order to keep order, had been replaced by Queen. A title that for so long she had hated, now made her feel like finally she had found her place in this world. She couldn't speak, because honestly there was no way to put into words how happy she was. It was such a small gesture but it meant so much.

She went into her office and set out her papers for the day. The curse meant that it was actually relatively quiet, just a general tidy up of the time. Deciding that things could wait for another day she left the office at three, and returned home just as Henry was walking up the park.

/

The next morning she returned to the clearing, and once again Mal was there. They didn't say much today. They just enjoyed the peace of the morning, the comfort of each other's presence.

Over the next week Mal explained that they had left Storybrooke briefly- she had forced Gold to make her a potion that allowed her to leave and she and Lily had gone to Boston. They needed time to adjust to being mother and daughter. To catch up on all the years lost, which would have been complicated by the constant drama of Storybrooke.

Mal apologised for not returning when Robin died, had heard via Lily (who had been told by Emma), but she didn't know what to do. What she could have said, so just stayed away. Regina told her to be quiet. She had been alright, all things considered, and she hadn't known what she would have done if Mal had turned up. They were here now. That's what mattered.

It was also one morning where they agreed to see wherever this would lead. They would be there for each other, to offer a shoulder to cry on. To find solace in. If it led to something more than that would be brilliant but there would never be any pressure.

/

After a couple of weeks they began to be more open with the rest of Storybrooke. It wasn't that they were scared of backlash, the saviour was dating captain hook. Rumpelstiltskin was the Evil Queen's son's grandpa they were past judgements on family and who loved who. It was more the fact that both of them didn't think they could love very well and wanted to enjoy their rekindled feelings, sorting things out between themselves without a gaggle of residents watching them.

When it was apparent they were together, they hadn't been quite as subtle as they thought in Granny's, nothing really changed, apart from a not so subtle of never have I ever at the next girls night.

Mal hadn't known what Never Have I ever was, but after discovering it made Regina blush furiously she rather enjoyed it. Regina was sexy when she was flustered. She was also extremely competitive and that night had insisted on experimenting, something about the Charming's not being as vanilla as she expected. It didn't make sense to Mal but she wasn't going to complain. Not that she could do much more than moan.

/

6 months later and it was their first fight.

It was one of those days where everything goes wrong. From the coffee machine not working- there is any magic that even comes close to caffeine in the mornings, to her car breaking down and that was before getting to work. Regina had come back to the house in a state. Exasperated she moaned about how useless Mal was. Mal was equally annoyed; she had still yet to find a job in Storybrooke and refused to accept Regina's help. The lack of work had felt like she was left with not much to do and felt like she was useless.

I can do this on my own Mills she had said.

One thing had led to another and ended with Mal storming out the house.

Regina collapsed against the door frame. This always happened. They always left. She was too overbearing. Too strict. She had too much baggage. This, them, was doomed to fail.

Mal doesn't know how she got here. She just remembers seeing red. She had messed up. She had annoyed the one person that could ever love her. She falls against the fallen tree, and cries. It's getting dark, and the warmth of the day is replaced by the slight chill of a breeze.

Regina takes a few moments to calm down before realising that she; they have come too far, endured too much for a bad day to destroy everything. Whatever happened next they needed to talk, to set everything down. No more tip toeing around for fear of it being too hard to deal with. She would not lose someone else she cared about. Not today.

She guessed that she would be here. She saw her slumped against the tree and a lump formed in her throat. She had caused this.

Sitting down next to her she placed her hand around Mal's back, allowing her space to rest her shoulder if she wished. She did and offered a small smile.

Regina was here. She had come to find her. Mal rested her head on her shoulder and let herself breathe a sigh of relief.

They both sat there for a moment.

"Mal" Regina said at the same had called "Regina".

Awkward gestures followed and eventually Regina spoke.

"I'm sorry. I know it's not an excuse but today has just been a bad day and I came home and everything was a mess. I just felt like everything was out of control and it was too much. I pushed you too hard and I didn't mean it"

Mal looked into her hazel eyes and squeezed Regina's hand, a simple but needed act of reassurance. "I'm sorry too, I should have cleaned up, or at least tried to- we both know you would go back and do it all again. I shouldn't have run. I know that. I just got scared. "

The two hugged, before Regina withdrew. She had to say something. Do something. She got out a velvet box, chuckling at Mal's shocked reaction

"I had same the reaction at first, but they aren't what you think"

Mal was even more confused now but she motioned for Regina to continue, guessing she had an explanation.

"They are promise rings. I found them in Robin's sock draw on the day of the funeral. Along with a note, him promising me a future. A future together. At the time I hurled them across the room. Fate is a cruel master. I couldn't throw them away though, no matter how much it pained me to look at them. I thought it was because I like to torture myself. Perhaps I hoped that one day I would be able to look at them and believe in a future again. Today a mist the chaos, the hurt, the insecurities I did. I was pissed but I couldn't go to bed on an argument. I couldn't face the thought of this being an end. I also want to make this clear this isn't a rebound. I loved Robin, part of me always will, but on the day I made one last vow. To start over and over somehow. So Mal what do you say?"

Mal was overcome with emotion. She had, just minutes ago believed it was all over, how wrong she had been. Regina had not given up on her. She didn't want to give up on her. Ever.

"Regina, fate, destiny whatever you want to call it has been unfair to both of us. Love has taught us that life is precious and death is cruel. The truth is that despite everything we both believe in hope, because we have to believe that good can come from broken. So yes. I love you.

"Even after all this time, after everything" Regina asked, suddenly shy.

"Always" Mal replied, laughing.

They sealed the emotional day with a kiss, a sweet, sensual kiss.

What they didn't see was a feather fall to the ground as they left the clearing to return home.

/

 ** _The end. Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed it, all feedback appreciated. C x_**


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